when will you realize vienna waits for you?
what a week. its only wednesday and i feel as though ive been crippled by the past few days. two concerts, a presentation at work, two midterms, and a handful of stress. all in all i have survived.
for my first two to three years of university, i was pretty deadset on being what you would call an academic weapon, or something close to it. i would study a few hours each day, attend all my lectures and labs, complete homework and assignments days before the due dates.
all in all, i thought i enjoyed what i was doing. mathematics was something refreshing for me, something i still had this intense passion to study, but i feel as though this intensity has passed and what used to be my love became something i loathed. it felt like no matter how much i studied or how many problem sets i completed, i drew a blank when it came to test time this week.
my complex and real analysis midterms came back to back this semester. individually, i dont think the courses are that bad, and the content is shared at some points, however having one after another really threw me into a new one. thursday and friday i went out, saturday i spent sleeping and reading (a bad choice), and sunday was my first day studying. piece of advice: dont do this, like ever, you will regret it.
my complex analysis midterm went well, it was straightforward and i felt okay with how i did, which made me sort of drop the ball on studying further for my real analysis midterm.
last night i went in for my real analysis midterm and i couldnt solve half the questions, even though i knew the answers and the concepts. i couldnt figure out how to bound a certain sequence, which made me really annoyed, as i knew the exact process of how to do it; you find a natural number m such that for all epsilon greater than 0, then you should have that for each term in the sequence past the m-th term, the absolute distance from the term to the limit is less than epsilon. i knew it all man i just dropped the ball.
all in all, i know my performance was solely due to me not being adequately prepared, and its too late for me to sit here and beat myself up. i accept my misgivings, and ill fix them next time. at least now i know i only need to truly focus on one of the classes since ive gotten the marks to pass the other.