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trip to the beach save me

i have a track record for uneventful summers. as much as i enjoy getting outside, letting the sun hit my skin, absorbing vitamin d or whatever, i feel like every single summer has had something missing. last summer it was the social interaction i was missing, and the summer before that was missing a trip, and the one before that was spent working all summer. maybe its just me but i always feel like i spend my summers inadequately. i've been filling my time this summer with work and regular hangouts with friends. lots of playing and frolicking outside too. i've also started going to the sunday market near my house in the morning, which has been a good way to fill my need to buy trinkets. i've been spending most of my time at home given i have my cats to take care of. my quality of living has been gone up with respect to last summer. it really has.

i leave for a little vacation in the beginning of august. my family and i are off to montenegro (the four of them are there already, meanwhile i decided to come a bit later when it would be hotter and i'd avoid the bulk of the tourist season). we've been going on and off since i was a kid but in these past two years we bought an apartment there. before that we would live with my great aunt for two months at a time. she has a huge house and no kids so we are almost always welcome. it's good vibes and i really like seeing my aunt. she's always had a lot of faith in me since i was a kid and i envy the way she approaches going about life.

if you know my family, you'll know that we are not one for multi-family vacations. i think that when it is just the five of us, we get along well, but the second you add a rouge person or group, shit hits the fan. i remember being a kid and visiting lake erie with some of our "family friends" and let me tell you there was not a single moment without some type of yelling. my dad is the anxious type, so i guess in situations where he doesn't have some control or mutual understanding over the other party, he pops. my mom is very relaxed, so she tends to not care either way, which infuriates my dad even more. i'm at the age now that i can respectably piss off and not care, meanwhile my sisters tend to just not notice. it's funny, but now that i've grown older i realize how closely knit as a family the five of us are, which is why i'm grateful to be able to spend some time with them. they've been gone for a few weeks now so i've already started missing them.


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all in all i just need a few trips to the beach and some time to disintegrate in the sun. that's all. i've been okay for the past few weeks, though work has been a bit suffocating. i'm just trying to hold out for the next two weeks, i'll be moving to the geographic systems team in september so i'm glad for that. it'll be a shift in the work i'm doing which i think is going to help push me out of the rut i've been in these past few weeks. i've been drinking a lot of kefir recently in an effort to get my stomach issues in check. it doesn't taste as good as it does back in the balkans, so i can't wait to flood myself with traditional foods when i get there. i was also contemplating leaving my phone back here in toronto, or possibly just not buying a sim card when i get there. i think the mental refresh would do me good. who knows. let me just get on that plane to begin with.