salt burns holes in the snow
i saw an article today regarding the fact that toronto has only received around 30 hours of sunlight this winter. i've spoken about how i don't tune into the news anyways, but this one popped up on my instagram feed for whatever reason and it sucks to say, but i'm not really surprised by all this. it's like this in any north american city sitting along a body of water. i'm not a climatologist, nor do i really care for the summer, but i miss days in the double digits negatives where we had clear skies and the sun was out. parts of canada are literally freezing over solid, but at least their skies are clear. for however bad it is to have all that uv light reflected on my already dry face, i'd choose sun damage over the weather we have now.
over the two and a half weeks i spent in portugal, i think i had maybe 3 days where there was no rain, and maybe two of the three were cloudy. maybe its just me, but i like rainy weather. i don't like getting wet, but the weird flush of cold air that follows rain makes for good walking conditions. not to mention how empty my area is when it rains makes it perfect for bringing a large umbrella and strolling around. the feeling of everything coming to a halt and finding myself in a small cramped cafe is probably the thing i've been enjoying the most through this objectively shitty weather worldwide, these little breaks from the whole world.
i start back at my job on monday, which i'm fairly okay with. i get to be an actual employee with benefits and things. its more policy pricing and supporting those type of projects on the data science side, which is cool, i actually get to still do some math. i also have some small responsibility to this world that i didn't really have when i was an intern, im with the big boys now. i'm not particularly ecstatic to be working, but i'm rather excited to have money to spend doing fun things and actually having reasons to go out into this world. getting to work part time while i finish school is cool too, i'm glad i pushed for that.
sitting here writing this, a feeling i want to kill while im twenty one is the feeling of being unproductive. maybe i've seen too many productivity/corporate circle jerking posts on bearblog, hackernews and instagram that i really have become sick of it. my friends who do this, no hate to you, but there are better things to do with your time. sue me for saying this but we do not ourselves any good by micro-optimising every small portion of our lives. just because you could do something fractionally faster by doing it a certain way doesn't mean that the difference is "wasted time". why are we micro-managing our lives when we should really just living it. people, we need to live our lives how we wish. in that fashion, we don't need to constantly working on the next thing. if we wanted to play video games after work, then do that. if we want to read when we could be working on our thesis (aka me), who is there to tell us no? if i want to walk around my neighborhood on a tuesday afternoon, am i this unproductive demon or am i just cool and mysterious? western society (here i go again) has instilled in us that we have to be productive at all times to hold any value in this world, but my friends is that a life worth living? for me, it's not.
from that point, i realize i actually need to sit down and code my tests. talk to you all another day.