rush hour traffic
what can i say, it makes me miserable. its 4 pm, im tired as shit. work really fucks with my back so i feel i can barely lift my head by the time i get to the subway platform. its damp in here, my head is ringing, im dehydrated and im feeling the oils on my face. my glasses are dirty and i can only wipe them on my shirt. everyone and their mother has packed into this subway car in an effort to get home as soon as possible. i cant sit down because an older lady has decides her bag needs its own seat and im too drained to fight to sit in a middle seat.
the metro here in toronto sucks. theres no other word. it just sucks. years of underfunding, covid, and construction delays have made taking the public transit here terrible. i feel as i need to leave an extra 30 minutes earlier during certain times in the day if i want to avoid a potential delay.
delays are frustrating, however ive taken the approach that ill get there when i get there. theres this theory that anytime theres subway delays or traffic on the roads, its a sign that the universe has changed your fate in some way. maybe being late causes me to take another route and in turn i see someone i havent seen in a long time, or i make conversation i wouldve never thought to before. i am not some hippie but i do think there is some truth in saying that everything happens for a reason, even if that something are horrible hour long delays.
i wont act like im better than taking public transit cause im not. i dont have the money, willpower, or patience to drive in this city. theres too many variables to consider when driving in the city. will someone jump out infront of me? will a biker break my mirrors? will i get honked at for no reason? i already dislike driving and car culture, i think if i drove downtown id combust into ashes. as a pedestrian, the amount of bad drivers already gets on my nerves, i can only imagine how it would be driving a car worth a few thousand of my hard earned dollars.
listening to music doesnt even work. its too loud to hear in my shitty wired headphones. people are generally calm but theres always a group of kids that is screaming or one guy suspiciously too mad about a delay. i cant read on the metro, i need relative silence and not the sounds of wheels scrapping the iron tracks.
anyways in recent news, i got the last paycheck from research grant and the first from my intership yesterday. it feels nice that i wont have money as a stressor for a few months or weeks. i can buy yummy food without cringing. most people are working to afford a house or something. for me, its to sit down somewhere and eat meals with my friends.