ramblings of an idiot
holy shit its february already. the brevity of each day, week, and even months is starting to hit. i remember feeling as though a month would last an eternity when i was younger, but now they pass by so quick. maybe its because i've gotten older, or maybe i have been busy. time passes by when you're having fun... right?
in the latest news, i finished my first (parttime) week of my "new" job. yay! i've known my current manager from past internships i did at the company and they gave me an offer that i was happy with, especially given the fact that i haven't finished school yet. the job feels more like a data "everything", which is a bit weird. i've been put on this weird niche role that is meant to "support" the different insurance teams in my department with work that requires coding and working with the gcp. it feels like the work my last team did, but this time on a much more specialized scale. one thing thats been intimidating me has been the fact that i have a completely different background than most of everyone in the department. i'm not an actuary... i dont really care for insurance... i just know data stuff and how to code subjectively well. i dont feel like am imposter, but there is a hint of "why the hell am i here" running through my head. i'll be moving to a new team in eight months so i just need to survive till then. that's all my work talk of this post, i won't make you suffer with more.
now that i've also started back with university, i realize i need to finish my thesis. there is so much i still want to do with it, and so much i could do, but it has become this ice wall im struggling to scale. the wildings in game of thrones have nothing on me. i have good results, i really do think so, however the fancy images we need have absolutely zero ground truth labels, so there is no way for me to say precisely how well my methods work. in a similar note, my supervisor is headstrong about asking me to do other adhoc things that dont relate to my work. my supervisor is only pretty much supervising me and isn't some domain expert in anything i've done up till now, she's more like someone i keep updated and get grant applications signed by, as well as being a fun drinking buddy.
on one end, i feel proud of myself for getting so far with it, but on the other end i feel exhausted. i miss being able to write math without wanting to burn all my notebooks. not to mention coding all of this has been a pain in the ass. nowadays, i force myself to walk over to second cup and work for an hour or two at a time on my thesis, but even that isn't much given the amount of work i still have left to finish before april.
all in all, things are going. tomorrow night, i have my childhood friend's going away party to attend. she's off to australia for an exchange, so i've been told the party is australia themed... i don't know what i will to wear but that's a problem for a future me. good night my friends.