my weekend in review
weekends are my peace time. i get to to relax for a short few hours, do my favorite things, and revitalize myself in preparation for the upcoming weekdays. maybe now that ive come into the routine of what people would expect of a regular person, i really love these two days of the week. it can come off a bit dystopic at times but i want to say that the me outside of my school and work obligations is completely different from the rest of me. different from the me that i become when i walk home and through the park, different from the me that reads in the cafe near my house, different from the me thats sitting and writing this. my parents often wonder if i get tired from constantly being out of the house. sometimes i am, but i think that having those few moments free from any responsibility each day has helped me sort of curb this sense of tiredness. i dont know, i can only rot in my room so long, and id be disappointed in myself if i didnt at least try to do one enjoyable thing.
this weekend was no exception. it was just lovely. i began reading again on saturday. i talked a few weeks ago how i hadnt been reading as much as i hoped, things sort of became monotonous and it felt as if i was looking at the words but not processing them in my head. id go through a whole book without remembering the protagonists name up until the last chapter. off the top of my head, i can only remember pechorin from hero of our time, and thats solely because i read the last chapter yesterday while awake at 2 am. this marks the end of my second read through of the book. the smell of the old paper, the slightly tinged edges, the sticky notes poking out the side, i missed it. i bought a book called a leopard skin hat by anne serre. it stuck out to me while glossing over the books in the store, the main character is some intense and psychologically cold character, shes just like me for real. i like shorter type of novels, and fiction mostly. they keep it simple and straightforward. i can over analyze them or read them casually and still get the same sense of fulfillment. i hope this book isnt too complicated of a read, ive been enjoying the first few chapters.
i got to feed the ducks on later in the day. i brought the same type of mixed uncooked nuts, however this time i crushed them up with my shoes before giving it to them. i figure its easier to digest? i dont think they bother to check if what they eat is even food, let alone verify if it can actually pass through their system, so just to make sure i took the time to break them up. i was midway through feeding them before a dog came running over to investigate and ended up scaring them all away. the owner kept apologizing, to which i told him not to. dogs will be dogs, you cant really change that. i gave the rest of the nuts to some squirrels and moved on.
today was nice too. got a bit of shopping done! i bought a lovely jacket for pretty cheap and somehow also managed to be decently social too. i visited a long time friend in the vintage/thrift store she works at. we went to high school together and i think of her as the one person who couldve seen through me during that time. i had promised to take her to prom back in sophomore year in a sort of "if we arent married by 30, lets marry eachother" type of way, but then the pandemic hit and that never happened. she ended up hosting a mini prom at her house, which i didnt attend because i was going through a bad period of my life. i could never bring myself to apologize to her for some reason, it just became something neither of us never mentioned. we lead different lives nowadays, but i want to say that she was my rock, we sort of existed with each other in a way that goes beyond words. the last time i saw her was at a mutual friends birthday party this summer. at times, we would just wrap our arms around eachother and stay close, her arm interlocked with mine. in those short moments with her, it felt like i was truly human. i wonder if our relationship wouldve been different if i didnt let her down that day. i want to make it up to her one day, but i dont know how.
after some surprisingly non awkward small talk, she helped me pick out some jackets. i was pining for a nice leather jacket for the lighter winter days and i actually managed to find a dark brown one with a baggy esque fit, cinched near the lower waist, and in really nice condition. knowing how upscale (gentrified) the area she works in has gotten, i was surprised that she let me off with a half off discount. i felt bad taking it but she insisted it was fine. the tone of the jacket matches the leather satchel my dad gave me, there are some alterations to the waist and the lining that i want to do, but overall i am in love. its the first leather jacket that has been truly mine, so i want to take good care of it. im going to give it a few days to air out and release that thrift store must, maybe give it a wipe down once or twice, but once its all ready, i dont think ill be wearing anything else.
i managed to steal a poster today too. after some deliberation with a friend this morning, we agreed to go out earlier to try and pry off concert posters from the boards across the gas station. it was raining heavily so we got soaked, but it made getting the posters off somewhat easier. i dont think a minute went by without me bursting out in laughter with how stupid my idea was. i dont know, i just felt like doing it. we were able to remove two of the same poster using my dads putty knife, with one of us hold the umbrella while the other dug with the kife.. at one point a lady passing by stopped to help hold up the umbrella i had bought as the both of us tried to pry the poster board from the rest of the wall. unfortunately, i had to cut away around 60% of the poster, but shes on my wall now. i consider the mission a success. will i ever do something like this again? maybe...
anyways, it was a nice weekend. its been the best one ive had in a long while. im not going to jinx it but maybe things arent so bad for the time being.