in case of an apocalypse, take my rib and make another cat
i love my cats so much. i tell my friends all the how much i love them. leeloo is sitting on my bed while im writing this and each time i look to her, she looks into my eyes with these little beady black eyes and i feel myself sinking into them. she's something. i can tell there's some sort of thought behind them, like she's trying to tell me some indescribable truth to the universe. i can only reach out to her in hopes of understanding what she's thinking like some weird cat version of the creation of adam. i see bits of myself in her at times too. she likes to hunker down most of the day, but occasionally makes an appearance around the house to say hi or jump in my lap to demand affection.
when i look at her, i just want to sit and give her a bunch of kisses. often times, i find her sitting in the living room in her tangerine crate and take a few moments to sit with her and say hi. a few pets, some mild conversation, a kiss or two, and that's it. i know she knows how much i love her, but i know that she isnt the type to require lots of affection. she's a bit of a background character i find. shes in the same room as you, but you don't explicitly pay all that much attention to her. her presence is often telling enough of her love.
i remember the first week she came home she wouldn't leave the underside of my sister's bed, finding a nice spot on the old mattress and making it her home. she didn't poop for three days and barely ate. it felt like a mistake bringing her home. this little black ball of fur was ours, but it felt like the slightest gust could blow her away. one night, i found her whimpering in her sleep and i just laid down on the floor petting her until she calmed down. maybe this is what parents feel when they first have kids, this instinct to just protect their kid forever. i could be a pretty good dad i feel, cats are just tinier babies... right?
anyways, i'm sorry for not putting stuff up recently. i've been writing... but just nothing that i've felt comfortable posting. not to mention it's been a boring week with not much space for other life stuff, the work and school grind is real. as im writing this sentence leeloo jumped back into my lap for the second round of biscuit making. when i see her like this i feel like the world comes to a bit of a halt and i struggle to hold back tears of content. good night all.