ice coffee and a blueberry muffin
i am a whore for mcdonalds muffins. i dont know, something about the crisp muffin top, slightly overcooked but moist, makes it so good. other places, both large brands and small homestyle coffee shops cant do muffins well. i dont think a muffin needs to have crystal sugar or cheesecake pieces or oats on top. its 6:30 in the morning, i dont need that, i just need a slightly warm blueberry muffin that wont break apart. paired with a cheap black ice coffee and you have the unironic breakfast of champions.
i have been waking up early in the morning these past 3 weeks. i told myself that leaving work while the sun is still out would be good for me. as another plus, the earlier i start, the longer im able to work seemingly undisturbed. my coworkers are nice, and as an intern, i put in the required amount of work, but sometimes i would get asked things as im about the leave and it would really fuck with my day. now that i work on a shifted schedule, 7 - 3, i surprisingly feel better about working. i leave at 3, my notifications are turned off and thats it. i have a return offer for another team anyways, so im not obligated to sit and impress these people. i find that its been better to get work out of my system as early as possible so i have the rest of the day to be outside and wander. ive been liking being able check the sunset on my watch as i leave work so i know roughly how much daylight i have to work with.
this is controversial but i actually like going into the office too. i talked with my dad about it but i think that some people, such as me, need separation in their lives. last year when i used to work for the same team, i feel like staying at home most of the day just ended up causing me more stress. having my work laptop and personal laptop right next to each other gave me a weird amount of anxiety, it felt like i was always on the clock, even if my work thinkpad was turned off. i like how things are now atleast, i have a good separation; i try my best to fuck off from work at 3 and take a long walk home.
waking up at 5 has been tough though, its a weird schedule to adapt to, but i think it has been starting to pay off. yesterday was the first day that i didnt feel completely drained at the end of the day, and i had a lecture in the morning too.
one really unfortunate thing ive started noticing now that its getting colder and im waking up earlier is how much disparity there is between the homeless and homed here in toronto. i normally get off a few streetcar stops before work to catch some fresh air and on my way to the work building. during this walk, ill walk past one of those ground level cross fit gyms, filled with a bunch of seemingly well-off millennials, while right outside, and ill see people huddled around heating vents trying to sleep.
its very unfortunate, and especially in a city and area as prosperous as this one, that people are forced to sleep outside like this. at the tax rates that all three levels of our government impose on us, its quite a shame that we cant protect our most vulnerable people. not to mention the horrible gentrification this city has been going through. seriously, who the fuck needs 10 dispensaries and 5 overpriced laptop coffee shops within a block radius. this city has become ridiculous to live in quite frankly. maybe its because ive lived here for so long that i have these opinions. im sure in other cities its worse, but it doesnt mean something shouldnt be done about these problems. maybe i should start a career in politics.
anyways, as i end this morning talk off, i want to share an album that ive reintroduced into my life: car seat headrest's twin fantasy! i actually have two copies of it on vinyl by accident. its just a nice album in general, and it doesnt try to be something its not. nowadays, some artists try to give more meaning than there needs to be in their songs and albums. i think twin fantasy is one of those albums thats lyrically simplistic but still carries a very strong meaning to it. i dont know, it might just be because will toledo wrote all of his songs when he was 17. regardless, its good shit to listen to in the streetcar when i cant form a single thought. my favorite track off the album is high to death