i love you & goodbye
god it was so weird waking up this morning at 4 to blurry vision. i had spent most of the day prior with my friend throwing rocks and rust metal pieces into lake ontario and my last tetanus vaccine was almost 10 years ago. for some reason the logical conclusion was that i had contracted tetanus. cue the next 5 minutes of me searching for symptoms on my phone only to realize that it was just due to fact that for the first time in like 4 months i'm getting out of sleep debt. for the first time in a bit i haven't had some responsibility dangling over my head and i guess my body just melted a bit too hard.
anyways, day was well spent regardless. first time i've ever been that southeast of the city, its like forbidden lands to me. it was a bit creepy passing by the weird chernobyl exclusion zone esque barricades on our bikes, but once you pass that part, its a nice bike ride to the end of the park. there's an old lighthouse at the end that you can climb up on through a hole in the fence. we sat there for a bit, overall good living given it was a friday at 3 pm. given the past weather we've had and personal life effects, it feels good to go somewhere and just sit for a bit. i've come to heavily cherish moments like these, where your life just feels a million miles away on the horizon, and your physical self is just sitting there watching it all from a distance. it makes the world feel small.
i'm supposed to go to my godparents (my parents are their kids' godparents) tonight to celebrate their slava. i haven't seen them in a few years but they are pleasant people and make good food. i remember being twelve and making the whole trip as a family every few months to visit them. the adults would stay up till one or two in the morning talking while my sisters and i would assume places on their couch to fall asleep. i'm not all to big of a fan to be going to be honest, but it's more out of the desire that i don't want my dad going alone. i would much rather call my friend and go on a late night walk or play horizon forbidden west till three in the morning, but alas.
last bit of news, i'm off to vancouver in the middle of may. i am very very most certainly excited. i have a cheap flight booked and a hostel for 4 days. that's all. i need to plan a bit more, there are some shops i hope to go visit, places i want to frolick and good food i want to eat. hoping to just survive off a backpack of some random lighter clothes + a backpack, not quite sure how much i want to pack just yet. as to why vancouver and why go, i've never been plus i think a little solo weekend trip will help bring out some life in me. ill be on a family vacation later in august so this is my spring/summer solo trip i've been waiting for. if i stop posting after mid may, i've been eaten by a bear.