getting a life
i dont like getting asked "what have you been up to?". i don't know. i could have had the most interesting past few days, or the most uneventful, and i would simply not remember. my memory is slim these days, and comes to me in fleeting moments when i can form links with events in the present. sitting here in the sun the sun sends me back to the beach i was on this summer. the embrace from a friend brings the scent of the perfume my grandmother used to wear. the unassumed path we bike on takes me to my mom's hometown. i wonder at times if i only remember things by association.
i've been doing a lot of things recently, which has been nice. i've been seeing friends and getting out of the house most days. at times i wonder if this is what life is supposed to be all about; these joyful moments shared with others, kept a secret from the rest of the world. i don't take many photos when i'm out like that. my mom gets mad i don't have anything to show for my outings. having a photo of the occasion makes me feel like i have cheated myself out of a memory by constraining it to a handful of pixels. who do i need prove i had a good time to?