bringing a fruitcake to a holiday party
what does it really mean to be original? thats what i asked myself when i first started writing. it feels like everything has been done; nowadays people have blogs, articles, podcasts, and videos that are able to perfectly compartmentalize every single thought weve ever had. maybe thats why i was drawn to doing my undergraduate thesis project, it felt like i was doing something original, something that couldnt be described by the first article of a google search.
ill scroll pinterest at times, and often, a quote pops up that perfectly captures a feeling ive experienced before. i talked about the feeling of wasting time a few weeks ago, and here comes pinterest with a yiwei chai quote that encaptured the same feeling, but more beautifully worded. i felt a bit unoriginal while writing that post, solely because i was drawing upon the same feeling of she had described. i reckon that this wasent something we dealt with fifty years ago, when digital media wasent so engrained in our everyday lives. im sure all of the old age authors werent able to read eachothers work constantly, so they didnt have this feeling of unoriginality in their crafts.
quite honestly, its something i struggle with. if someone has written about the dillemma, what good does my input serve? what do i bring to the table if the table has already been served? it feels at times like im bringing a one of those christmas fruit cakes to a holiday party. what makes my fruit cake so special when we have these beautiful red velvet, tres leches, and tiramisu desserts?
as ive been trying to write more thoughtfully, i find myself ending up with these feelings. i could find some super obscure russian novel and write a review about that, but what worth does that bring to me? what goes does it do to me to push to do original things? is that truly what i want? this blog was created by me and for me... is it okay if the things that i write about arent necessarily original?
i like the concept of people acting and living by their lived experiences. it boils down to all of us being informed by what weve come to experience through our lives. what i do, what i write about, what i talk about, all stems from what life has given me up until this point. i dont think anyone can truly live the same life, we all have unique and original life experiences.
ive been drawing on this idea more recently, that what i write is original because i am original. its a bit of a surface level conclusion, but it gives me confidence and reassurance to go and put something out into the world, even if its lazily written by a half asleep me at 11 pm.