ante meridiem
if theres one thing ill complain about in my life, its mornings. regardless of what time i wake up, whether 11:59 am or 6:00 am, i will complain. maybe i didnt get enough sleep, maybe i couldnt sleep well, maybe i didnt have a pillow to hug while i slept, maybe my cats kept scratching at the door and kept me up all night, regardless, i will find something to complain about.
i think we come to a universal consensus when talking about mornings; it is socially acceptable to complain about your life. but only when it pertains to this 6 hour period. you cant dwell too long, because afternoon has already come, and we have work to do.
even through all my complaining, i like mornings. i like leaving the house while its still dark outside. early mornings feel like serenity to me, like time has come to a halt, and all that exists is me and this quiet, mildewy world. early spring and late summer are when my favorite mornings occur. warm enough in the early morning so that clouds dont form snow, but cold enough so that they accumulate into dense clouds that cast a haze through the streets.
when im outside during this fleeting time, i feel like as though i am the only one in this world. i come to a deeper understanding of the world around me each time i enter this haze, but i also leave with unanswered questions about what the day will bring. with these questions, im left to wander through the haze. the suns glow hits me and sunrise comes, the haze dissipates and im left feeling lighter than i did before.
i board the streetcar, i tap my transit card, i sit behind the rear doors. its 6:45. accompanying me is a bus full of strangers, who had all layed witness to the same morning haze, but each had a different experience. we all sit quietly, not wishing to disturb the fragile silence interrupted by the sounds of the bus engine. i ride four stops, past the hospital, past the park, past the seemingly misplaced bus stops and to the beginning of the streetcar route.
i get off the bus, mumbling 'have a nice day' to the driver and cross the street. i see some familiar faces, and some unknown faces. as the sun begins to encroach upon the horizon, i enter the streetcar, tap my transit card again, and take my seat along the right side, closest to the window. my day has begun. regardless of if my physical self had woken up before it. the suns glow represents a new day of challenges. challenges i need to face to see another sunrise. i repeat this cycle and will continue to for the rest of my life.