a little vignette
as much as i'd like to tell you all i'm a nonchalant person and i like to take life as it comes, i'm the exact opposite. new people, relationships, events, opportunities, i take them as wireframes to mould my life against, rather than seeing if they could have ever truly fit into my life. i leave things unsaid, psychose myself into new conclusions, change whatever attracted these things into my life, to such a horrible extent that, in the end, when it doesn't work out, i can't recognize who i was before. in the pursuit of stability, i latch onto the first thing that comes my way; men that i've met only once, job offers for positions i don't really care about, the first drink recommendation at a bar. i never wait to see the full selection and i never sample, not once.
